How to Write with Heart After a Suicide Loss

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What to Write (and What Not to Write) to Someone Who Lost a Loved One to Suicide
by the Love it Forward List Team

When someone loses a loved one to suicide, their world shifts in unimaginable ways. Pain, confusion, guilt, and grief often coexist in heavy silence. When you sit down to write a card for someone navigating this kind of loss, your words have the power to offer something truly meaningful: compassion, connection, and a moment of light in the dark.

But it can also feel intimidating — What do I say? What if I say the wrong thing?

We’re here to help. Here are some loving, thoughtful tips on what to write, and just as importantly, what not to write, when you’re sending a card to someone grieving a suicide loss.

💌 What TO Write

1. Lead with love and softness

  • "I don’t know the right words, but I want you to know I’m thinking of you."

  • "My heart is with you."

  • "You are not alone in your grief."

You don’t need perfect words. You just need genuine ones.

2. Acknowledge the pain — without trying to fix it

  • "I can’t imagine the pain you’re going through, but I want to honor your loss."

  • "It’s okay to feel every emotion that’s coming up — grief has no rules."

Let them know it’s okay to hurt. You’re not there to solve anything — just to offer presence.

3. Honor the life of the person who passed

  • "Though I didn’t know them, I believe their life mattered deeply."

  • "Their memory lives on through the love they left behind."

You’re showing that their loved one isn’t forgotten.

4. Offer hope, gently

  • "I hope one day peace finds you again, even in the smallest of moments."

  • "You are stronger than you think, and you are loved more than you know."

Hope is powerful — but it must come softly.

🚫 What NOT to Write

1. Avoid clichés

Phrases like “Everything happens for a reason” or “They’re in a better place” may unintentionally minimize someone’s pain. It’s okay not to understand why this happened — they don’t either.

2. Don’t ask for details

It’s not the moment to ask how or why. Their loss is sacred. Respect their privacy.

3. Avoid judgment or assumptions

Never write anything that implies blame, suggests they should “move on,” or try to explain their loved one’s choice.

4. Don’t try to “silver-line” their grief

Avoid saying things like “At least…” (e.g., “At least you had time with them” or “At least they’re no longer suffering”). These statements can feel dismissive, even if well-meant.

💛 Your words matter.

Even a short message, written with intention and love, can bring comfort. Here’s a simple example:

Dear [Name],
I am so sorry for your loss. I don’t have the perfect words, but I want you to know that I see your pain and I’m holding space for you in my heart. May you feel surrounded by love, even on the hardest days. With care, [Your Name]

If you’d like, you can include a quote that speaks of hope, healing, or love — and don’t underestimate the power of a tiny gesture like a paper heart or origami crane tucked inside.

When we write with tenderness, we remind someone they are not alone. And that, in itself, is an act of healing.

With all our love,
The Love it Forward List Team

Want a dose of inspiration? These cards say it all: Sympathy cards.

If you're still unsure about what to write, here are some thoughtful, budget-friendly gift ideas to show your care and sympathy with love.

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