At Love it Forward List, we often send bundles of encouragement cards to widows (and widowers) navigating one of life's deepest griefs. These handwritten notes from strangers can become treasured lifelines—small reminders that they are seen, remembered, and not alone.
Writing to someone grieving the loss of a spouse can feel intimidating, but remember: your sincerity matters far more than perfect words. A simple, kind message can bring unexpected comfort.
Here are some gentle Do's and Don'ts to guide you, based on what grieving people tell us brings real solace.
Do's:
- Acknowledge the loss directly — It's okay (and often appreciated) to name the pain. Phrases like "I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband" or "My heart aches knowing [Name] is no longer with you" show you're not avoiding the truth.
- Share a positive memory (if you have one) — Mention something specific about their spouse: "I'll always remember how [Name] lit up the room with his laugh" or "He was such a kind and generous man." This honors their loved one's life and reassures the widow that their partner won't be forgotten.
- Offer ongoing support — Grief doesn't end quickly. Say "I'm thinking of you today and in the days ahead" or "Please know I'm here if you'd ever like to talk or share memories."
- Keep it personal and sincere — Write from the heart. Even a short note like "Sending you love and strength as you navigate this difficult time" means the world.
- Add soft, uplifting touches — Add dry flowers, confetti hearts, or include an encouraging quote sticker if it feels right. Some people find gentle comfort in simple images of angels or butterflies when grieving.
Don'ts:
- Avoid clichés that minimize the pain → Phrases like "He's in a better place," "Everything happens for a reason," or "At least he's no longer suffering" can feel dismissive, even if well-intended.
- Don't compare losses → Skip "I know exactly how you feel" (no one truly does) or sharing your own grief story unless invited.
- Don't suggest moving on → Avoid "You'll find someone else" or "Time heals all wounds"—grief has no timeline.
- Steer clear of religious assumptions → Unless you know their beliefs, keep faith-based comments neutral or omit them.
Your card doesn't need to be long—a few heartfelt lines are perfect. The magic of Love it Forward List is in the collective: one card warms the heart, but a bundle wraps them in love.
Thank you for being part of this beautiful chain of kindness. Together, we're reminding widows that light can still find its way through the darkest seasons. 💕
If you'd like to join us or have questions, reach out anytime!
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