How to Write a Card After a Tragic Event

Picture by 
Olha Vilkha 🇺🇦

When someone experiences a tragedy, words can feel both incredibly important and incredibly hard to find. Many volunteers worry about “saying the wrong thing,” but what matters most is showing up with kindness, sincerity, and care.

There is no perfect message. A heartfelt card — even a short one — can remind someone that they are not alone during one of the hardest moments of their life.

Start With Compassion, Not Solutions

You don’t need to fix anything or offer advice. Tragedy doesn’t come with easy answers, and your role is not to explain or minimize what happened. Simply acknowledging the pain can be deeply meaningful.

Examples:

• “I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”

• “My heart is with you during this incredibly difficult time.”

• “I can’t imagine how hard this must be, but I’m holding you in my thoughts.”

Keep Your Words Gentle and Grounded

Avoid phrases meant to “cheer someone up” or make sense of the tragedy, such as:

• “Everything happens for a reason”

• “At least…”

• “You’re so strong”

Instead, focus on presence, care, and humanity.

Helpful approaches:

• Let them know it’s okay to feel whatever they’re feeling

• Offer warmth rather than positivity

• Write as you would to a dear friend in pain

Remind Them They’re Not Alone

One of the most powerful messages after a tragedy is knowing others care — even strangers.

You might say:

• “You are not alone, even on the days it feels that way.”

• “So many people are holding you in their hearts.”

• “I hope you can feel the love being sent your way.”

Keep It Simple

Your card does not need to be long or poetic. A few sincere sentences are enough. If words feel hard, that’s okay — honesty matters more than eloquence.

Even this is enough:

“I’m thinking of you and sending you gentle thoughts and care.”

What to Avoid

• Graphic details or references to the trauma

• Asking questions that require a response

• Comparing their pain to your own experiences

• Pressure to heal, forgive, move on, or stay positive

Close With Warmth

End your card with a soft, caring sign-off:

• “With care”

• “Sending love”

• “Holding you in my thoughts”

• “With kindness”

Here are thoughtful, inexpensive things you can tuck into an envelope with a card — plus ideas you can easily turn into Amazon affiliate links for your Love it Forward list. Many of these are meaningful, flat or light enough to mail, and won’t break the bank.

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✉️ Envelope-Friendly Add-Ins 

(affilliate links for your convenience)

💌 Inspiration & Keepsakes

• Bookmark — A cute, meaningful bookmark makes reading a little sweeter.

• Stickers — Fun, inspiring, or uplifting stickers are lightweight and affordable.

• Printed photo or polaroid — A treasured memory tucked into the card feels personal and precious.

☕ Comfort & Warmth

• Tea bags or coffee sachets — Single packets of calming tea or coffee bring a small comfort moment.

🌱 Thoughtful Tokens

• Seed packets (flower or herbs) — A symbol of growth and hope, easy to include. (Check shipping regulations for seeds.)

• Origami or tiny paper art — Handmade folded hearts, cranes, or butterflies show extra care.

🎁 Small Novelty Gifts

• Temporary tattoos — Especially meaningful if the recipient likes playful touches.

• Flat magnets — A gentle daily reminder on the fridge or locker.

❤️ Extra Thoughtful Touches

• Handwritten quote or poem card — A few lines of gentle encouragement add emotional support without cost.

• Origami love notes — Personalized, folded messages inside the envelope. 

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At Love it Forward List, we believe small acts of compassion can carry enormous weight. Your words may be read on a very hard day — and they may be kept and reread on even harder ones.

Thank you for writing with care, empathy, and heart. Your kindness truly matters. 💛