A Guide to Writing Thoughtful Cards for Autistic People

Picture by Peter Burdon

Writing a card for someone who is autistic (whether it’s for a birthday, thank-you, just-because, or support) is such a beautiful way to show you care. But sometimes we hesitate: “What should I say to make it truly welcoming?”

Here are some simple, heartfelt tips to help:

1. Be direct and clear Skip sarcasm, hints, or very abstract/figurative language. Instead of “You’re a ray of sunshine in my life,” try: “I’m really happy every time I see you” or “I enjoy spending time with you so much.”
2. Say exactly what you feel or appreciate “I admire how honest you are about what you think.” “Thank you for teaching me so much about [topic they love].” “You matter a lot to me.”
3. Keep it short and easy to read Use short paragraphs or bullet points if it helps. Write legibly (or use a clean font if printed). Many autistic people process straightforward, uncluttered text more comfortably.
4. Mention specific things you value about them “I loved hearing you talk
   about dinosaurs with so much excitement!” “Your music recommendations always help me unwind—thank you for sharing.”
5. Add a simple, low-pressure question if you want (optional!) “What music have you been into lately?” “Any topics exciting you right now?”

Most importantly: Write from the heart. It doesn’t need to be perfect—it just needs to be genuine. Often, what someone treasures most is knowing someone took the time to write something just for them.

If you’ve ever written a card for an autistic loved one and it went well (or you learned something helpful along the way), drop it in the comments! Let’s keep spreading kindness and understanding together 💙